How to Screw Up Your Diet: 9. Practice Gastro-Physics

There is a scientific secret to your diet.

Don’t tell any one!!

If you eat a candy bar, you can always annihilate it with diet products. Shhhh. Diet sodas and Snickers, as you know, are dietary matter and anti-matter.

Thus, they cancel each other out.

So if you have something naughty, just chase it with a Diet Coke and some fat-free cheese “food” product.

Be prepared for the cosmic blip-out in your gastric netherworld, but hey at least you took care of those Ho Ho’s, Jolly Ranchers, and Ding Dongs.

Let’s just keep this dietary nugget between us!!