{"id":2192,"date":"2010-12-26T15:18:00","date_gmt":"2010-12-26T15:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.willclower.com\/blog\/2010\/12\/top-ten-ways-to-really-mess-up-your-diet-in-2011-and-lose-weight-anyway.html"},"modified":"2016-09-21T09:18:07","modified_gmt":"2016-09-21T13:18:07","slug":"top-ten-ways-to-really-mess-up-your-diet-in-2011-and-lose-weight-anyway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mymedwellness.com\/blog\/?p=2192","title":{"rendered":"Top Ten Ways To REALLY Mess Up Your Diet in 2011 … and Lose Weight Anyway!!"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a><\/div>\n
Every January, Americans renew their resolutions to fight the fat, battle the bulge, handle the love handles.  <\/span>And yet, every year the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention tell us that our obesity rates are increasing.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

\"Bookmark<\/a><\/p>\n

What\u2019s wrong with this picture?<\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
We are either the very definition of insane \u2013 doing the same thing each year and expecting a different result \u2013 or perhaps we just need to turn our thinking upside down regarding these annual New Year\u2019s resolutions.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Think about this logically.  <\/span>We subscribe to some new idea every single year, and fail and flail each time.  <\/span>So for 2011, let\u2019s apply a little reverse psychology. This year, let\u2019s try to really, REALLY mess up our diets.  <\/span>If we \u2013 in typical fashion \u2013 fail to keep these resolutions, we\u2019ll mess up \u201cthe mess up\u201d and, voila, end up healthy!! <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I love logic. <\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
So here are my \u201cTop Ten Tips\u201d for royally screwing up your diet in the coming year, with my deepest hopes for you that you will give them your very best efforts \u2026 and fail miserably:<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
1.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Follow the fad. <\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/b>Be <\/b>on the lookout for the newest of all the new diets \u2013 the more esoteric and absurd the better.  <\/span>Think cabbage soup, peanut butter and fat-be-gone rings.  <\/span>Statistically speaking, these have failed so often that sooner or later they must finally work. This is your year!<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
2.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Master speed eating. <\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/b>When you sign up for your new diet, you want to speed-eat so your food spends more time in your gullet than in your mouth.  <\/span>Otherwise, you\u2019ll taste your low-whatever, cardboard-flavored food product.  <\/span>Remember, your goal is to do anything but enjoy your food, so be sure to gobble it down in 10 minutes or less. <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
3.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Find the food condoms.  <\/span><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/span><\/b>Plastic-wrapped food is what you\u2019re seeking. If it\u2019s found in a pre-packaged form, eat it.  <\/span>If you have no idea how long it has been on a shelf, eat it.  <\/span>If all of the items in the case look exactly the same, like they are all stamped out of the same food widget mold \u2013 go for it. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
4.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Eat all the time.<\/span><\/b>  <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span>Graze.  <\/span>Think bovine thoughts.  <\/span>Once you get a little mouth momentum, just go with it.  <\/span>Start with five to six small meals, and work up from there.  <\/span>Again, work the logic: if you just keep going you\u2019ll basically eat all day.  <\/span>Thus, at that point, you\u2019re really only having one meal per day.  <\/span>Keeping snack foods in your desk \u2013 not to mention your vehicle \u2013 will really help in this dietary effort.<\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
5.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Eat on the go.<\/span><\/b> <\/span><\/div>\n
Eat in your car, on your feet, wherever. Just keep moving so you burn the calories as you shovel them in.  <\/span>Eating in a rush and huff is fantastic because it never allows your body to slow down enough to digest your food \u2013 no digestion, no calories!<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
6.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Lose your mind.<\/span><\/b> <\/span><\/div>\n
Eat at your desk, alone, doing your job as you mindlessly eat and eat. Eat while watching TV at night, so you can be distracted by the latest episode of \u201cThe Biggest Loser.\u201d <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
7.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Pursue platter portions. <\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/b>Serve meals on the largest plate you own.  <\/span>Turn over a garbage can lid if you have to, and make sure to completely fill the space with whatever you can ladle onto it.  <\/span>Remember this equation: m<\/span>ore diet food = more diet = more weight loss.  <\/span>Do the math.<\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
8.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Bite the big one. <\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/b>Take huge bites.  <\/span>If you feel that you may have to unhinge your jaws like an anaconda, you\u2019re doing it right.  <\/span>Squirrel-packing your cheek pockets will ensure that you not only lose more weight, but that you lose it in time to fit into your fantasy bathing suit by June. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
9.          <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Practice gastro-physics. <\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/b>Remember that if you eat a candy bar you can always annihilate it with diet products.  <\/span>Diet sodas and Snickers, for example, are dietary matter and anti-matter.  <\/span>They cancel, so if you have something naughty, just chase it with a Diet Coke and some fat-free cheese \u201cfood\u201d product. <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
10.     <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>Go for the glo. <\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/b>Focus on foods that look like they come from outer space.  <\/span>Think day-glo pink, and neon orange.  <\/span>Those nuclear-yellow marshmallow \u201cpeeps\u201d are an ideal screw-up-your-diet food.  <\/span>What\u2019s the reasoning?  <\/span>The people on this<\/i> planet are too fat.  <\/span>Now, have you ever seen a Martian who was overweight?  <\/span>Bottom line: If you eat food that looks like it was shipped here from Mars, you will be thin like them \u2026 albeit a tad orange with a bulbous head.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Good luck, and best wishes on your miserable failure to adhere to these tips. <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

Wishing you a happy, healthy New Year!!<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span> For more information: Click here to visit Will Clower’s website. <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every January, Americans renew their resolutions to fight the fat, battle the bulge, handle the love handles.  And yet, every year the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention tell us that … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[494],"tags":[402],"class_list":["post-2192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-new-years-resolutions"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7Qv5g-zm","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12811,"url":"https:\/\/www.mymedwellness.com\/blog\/?p=12811","url_meta":{"origin":2192,"position":0},"title":"SMART resolutions","author":"Will Clower","date":"January 17, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Following the SMART rules\u2014Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound\u2014is essential for New Year's resolutions success. 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And yet, every year the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention tell us that our obesity rates are increasing.What\u2019s wrong with this picture?We are either the very definition of insane \u2013 doing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Articles"","block_context":{"text":"Articles","link":"https:\/\/www.mymedwellness.com\/blog\/?cat=494"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5589,"url":"https:\/\/www.mymedwellness.com\/blog\/?p=5589","url_meta":{"origin":2192,"position":2},"title":"Next Week Is Our Resolution Week. Try Reverse Psychology.","author":"Will Clower","date":"January 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"HERE'S HOW TO REALLY MESS UP YOUR DIET\u00a0 We face every January with renewed resolutions to fight the fat, battle the bulge, handle the love handles.\u00a0 And yet,\u00a0every year\u00a0the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention\u00a0tell us that\u00a0our obesity rates\u00a0are increasing.\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with this picture?\u00a0 We are either the very\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Articles"","block_context":{"text":"Articles","link":"https:\/\/www.mymedwellness.com\/blog\/?cat=494"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12821,"url":"https:\/\/www.mymedwellness.com\/blog\/?p=12821","url_meta":{"origin":2192,"position":3},"title":"Become a Resolution Superhero","author":"Will Clower","date":"January 30, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"As the calendar flipped to January, you probably stare at that list of resolutions with the same determination you reserve for tackling a buffet\u2014enthusiastic, but slightly overwhelmed. 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